Doubts

Credits from tumblr. 

Anyway, all the bullets listed above is technically me. Not trying to ask for attention and shit but I just want to rant about some parts of my magistical life.

As young as 10, my cousins started to pick on me in a humourous-nothing-personal way. You know, for the sake of laughing. I used to swim a lot and it turned out that I have an uneven complexion  up until now. I have the morena complexion. I have insanely weird height and I have a long chin so they often tease me "negra" "kapre" and "baba". There would be a time that they crossed the line so when I answer them back, they'll get mad at me. They just think that I'm a passive person but I have feelings too ya know. That's the time that I realized I'm "pikon". 

I always keep those flaws in mind because it's really annoying to think about crushes and love related shits. I mean me? Really? Uh. Basically, that's the reason why I'm reluctant and have trust issues. It was some time last year that I never really expect that would happen... when your profile picture gets a bunch of likes from unexpected people. The last time I checked, it's for those gorgeous and popular ones. Glad that I did not become egoistic because it's my choice to change it and it's their's if they want to hit that button or not. Doesn't really matter. Also, when people comliments me. I am absolutely skeptical when I receive those. Are these people bullshiting me? Is it supposed to be the opposite? How do I respond?  I always say the same thing to them but in a comparative way and sometimes I just give them some awkward smile as if I heard something foreign. 

For a person who is used to point out his/her flaws like me, it is difficult to adjust to this compliment game. Those bullets are definitely the last thing that I would think or second to the last I guess. Well, sometimes I do but I tend to erase it in my mind 'cause all I feel is nuisance and it's a bit of cliché. People just come and go and if they'll stay, well geez thanks and if not, then fuck you. Kidding. to those who are not then I had a great time with you people and yeah, fuck you all still.