Drama mode: on

Last night, I prayed really long and kinda emotional. Approximately 30 mins so wow. Yeah I pray every night mostly all about how I thankful I am for everything but last night, I end up crying because lately, I knew a lot of revelations. Personal revelations in my family. I don't understand the situation tbh and idk the cause of it. Idk why does my dad have to treat us, his family, unfairly between his (my step brother and sister) children. All I could say is that fuck that. His son, Dax, he didn't achieved anything nor have a stable job but my glorious dad still have to spoil him by giving him what he fucking wants. I don't wanna call him as my brother in any aspect and as well to his sister. My dad wastes his effort to advise us to be wise and shit but did he ever looked at his sorry for the word, dumbass son? Does he even have something to be proud of? Only his arrogance is dominant to his petty self. I gathered all what I know and I end up saying "it all makes sense" because tbh I am exposed to this crappy revelations as I get old and it gets really infuriating. In the end, we're the losers cause probably that fatass is laughing his ass off because my dad loves him. Yeah, LOVES. I don't care anyway. It's not always about the money nor the material things. I don't know why does it have to conquer my dad's, mom's, siblings' mind. Money is not always the answer for fuck sake. I mean yeah we need it to spend it to our basic needs and stuff and maybe earn it instead but to use it as your advantage? Putangina. ITS ALL ABOUT BEING FUCKING HUMBLE. Maybe one day your world turns upside down, what now? Nganga? I don't want the issue of my parents, dax and cynthia to be a hinder to my determination to be successful. I really hate it how it affects me big time that I want to cry it all off.